It’s Okay To Want It
Why do we dream of publication?
Validation.
We believe we’re good writers—we’d love for experts in the business to say you belong with us!
We’re also told that we shouldn’t want that validation. The publishing industry is a business whose metrics include sales and marketing and timing—not just good writing.
Then we feel bad when we do want it, right? Just because we can see the flaws in relying on external validation doesn’t mean we easily believe it.
What’s also true is that there’s nothing wrong with seeking external validation. Evolutionary biology says so. Back on the savannah we needed acceptance of a tribe to survive. We may not have lions bearing down on us now, but we still feel safe when we know our people have our backs.
Then how do we bridge the two truths? That publication isn’t the only way to validation and that we still want validation from publication.
By reminding ourselves we are more than just writers. I’m a book coach, a mom, a wife, a daughter, a teacher, a friend. I work just as hard at being a good book coach, mom, wife, daughter, teacher and friend, as I do at being a good writer, which means there are so many other aspects of my life where I can feel validated by others. And that gives me the confidence I need to keep writing. Then when we do get published? We’ll have our cake and eat it, too. 🙂