Two-Fifty Tuesday: Faith and Doubt

You Determine Who You Are

I grew up in a liberal Christian church and, especially during dark moments in my teens, my faith sustained me. Then, in university, I asked a church friend to become my roommate. It was a great arrangement. Until one day, when I went to volunteer with the church, as I had for years, an official pulled me aside.

 “It doesn’t look good that you and Brad are living together.” 

I gawked. We weren’t living together, we were sharing a house—and even if we were living together, what business was it of this old man’s?

“It sends the wrong message to our young people,” the old codger continued. “I’m sorry, but both of you can’t work together here.”

I was incensed, but I had no choice. I had to step back. Because Brad’s job was the church’s youth minister.

For years, I was bitter and resentful and I turned away from my faith. Until I realized I was bitter and resentful at a group of people with a misguided view of religion. They did not determine my faith. 

It took me a long time to see the parallel to my writing life. That people who claim to know best do not have a claim to my identity as a writer. I accept that the gatekeepers in publishing do not have to accept my writing, but I don’t have to accept that they define who I am. Nor do you. 

If you feel you’re a writer, you are a writer.